My girls have not seen their father since Cinco de Mayo dinner. We left El Cazador, and Jeremiah asked if I could do the girls’ bedtime routine so that he could cram for all of his cases the next day. Since then, we’ve been rising around 4:30. He gulps down cereal while I make his lunch–because they certainly don’t give him enough time between cases to go somewhere and EAT–then I shove his coffee in his hand as he rushes out the door. He hasn’t gotten home until around 9, and then I warm his dinner. I sit there while he eats, and one of us looks at the other and says, “SO, how’s YOUR life goin’?” and we both laugh really hard. We go to bed EXHAUSTED, and it starts again. This is Trauma at UAB, and it is horrible.
Part of the problem is that he has had a couple of really good rotations in a row. We’ve grown accustomed to seeing each other–even hanging out together. The girls are missing him bad. Pace jumps out of bed in the mornings like a dazed animal and says frantically, “Did I get up early enough to see Daddy??!!” Then, she goes to bed at night saying, “Is Daddy going to come home soon and eat his dinner?” It is sad.
It makes me feel petty to be overwhelmed by ALL ALL ALL the one-on-one time I’ve had with the little ruffians, when I know Jeremiah is being worked to the bone. But the fact is, I AM overwhelmed and this is only his FIRST week of a TWO MONTH rotation. I’m thinking about moving to the beach…Anybody else want to come?? 🙂
When we were first married, I got mad at Jeremiah about these long hours. Surely he must be an over-eager beaver?! Surely EVERYBODY isn’t working like this? Then, I realized they were, so I started getting mad at “the hospital.” I have drafted many a letter to “the hospital” telling them just what I think about them,…but I think Jeremiah would have killed me if I had ever sent one of them. So now, I’ve decided to transfer my anger to…Obama.
Now that I can see end of the strenuous treadmill they call residency, I’ve started to be eager for a little compensation for these hours we’ve both been pullin‘. I’ve started to feel like we’ve ALL (the girls included) sacrificed a lot for this all-encompassing career, and by goodness, I don’t feel bad about wanting to be paid real live money for it! But now, NOW we have Obama, who thinks Jeremiah should work for free. Could somebody ask Obama how he expects us to pay off all of Jeremiah’s student loans and the debt we’ve been accumulating just to LIVE over the past four (going on six) years? Could somebody ask Obama if he has ever had to take trauma call and witness the kind of discipline, skill, endurance, and knowledge it takes to do that? Can somebody ask Obama what kind of people are going to WANT to live through this kind of hardship, if you refuse to pay them well for it?–not SMART people. Do you want your doctors to be smart?
So, it’s 9:30 on Friday night. I’m mad because I know my husband is standing over a body in some cold OR starving to death, and the best person I can think of to be mad at is Barack Obama. There! Thank you for listening to all of that.
I hear ya sista! I just read your blog to Lynn and he said “yeah, same thing with CEO’s. Their’s a reason that smart people get to the top.
I am totally with you!!! I will be so mad if OBAMA ruins medicine. He, nor does anyone in Washington, knows nothing about the medical world. Maybe they should ask a Dr or a spouse of one before they go changing anything!!!!! Enjoyed playing with you and the girls
I’m totally with ya! I gonna forward this to Kate. (Justin’s wife) I’m sure she can relate.
i can sort of relate. a lot of days steven works 12 hours, so i do everything from the time the kids get up to the time they go to bed. i miss him and i miss help with the kids. glad to know it’s not forever. sorry you and the girls are missing him. hoping these two months go by quickly… and i gladly support paying our doctors:).
Yeah, but did you notice the extra $50 or so in his pay check this month? Now THAT is “change we can believe in”. Maybe he will bailout all the medical debt that MDs have when they put them on the government payroll with salaries incapable of paying it all back??
i think you have picked the right person.:)
hang in there … i know feeling like you are raising those precious girls alone gets hard and taxing sometimes.
if O changes up healthcare the way he says … i’m moving my family to the Bahamas. do you think J would come and be the physician??
Amen sister!!! I feel the same way! Wayne is on trauma right now and he has just finished up a month of it and has 2 left. He really enjoys trauma, but I on the other hand can’t stand it. The hours are terrible and unpredictable. I think you’re right Obama needs to be on call with these guys, follow them throughout the day and then spend a day or 2 in the home with the wife and children, then maybe he will change his policy and way of thinking: ). Hope y’all have a great weekend.
You mean you’re not an Obama Mama… you sure had me fooled?
This is another favorite post…
So last week you took out your frustration on Locks… and now it’s Obama. Seriously, I can’t look at Locks with out cracking up. Listen if Jeremiah can’t afford to be surgeon maybe he can be a dog groomer…
Preach it sista!!!
I think you can include the ENTIRE Democratic party along with Obama. Also, Brad Pitt, David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey, don’t even get me started….Great post.
you crack me up!!! i’m glad you have found a way to channel your anger in obama’s direction (as opposed to your husband’s) hehehe!! and i really hope this rotation speeds up for you 🙂
i just laughed outloud, then read it to stephen. he may not be a doctor, but he is a medical sales rep so he has the hours of a doctor (on call almost every weekend and has to be in every case one of his doctors is in). we are always talking about this particular “obama” issue, bc if doctors work for free, so would stephen! well, stephen wouldnt have a job.
GRRR! i feel for you and your girls – i cant even imagine what a tough road this is for you! blogging is such a good way to vent though, right? and you did it so well. i have to regularly come back and delete posts bc i did NOT handle myself as well as you just did.
Don’t even get me started on B.O.
I couldn’t have said it better myself! I try not to think about him, because some of the things that he thinks about doing scares me to death! GOD IS IN CONTROL!
Abby- this post made me laugh. I was at the beach all weekend- and Friday night at 10 pm I still hadn’t heard from Michael and was starting to worry. He finally called a little after 11 when he and Jeremiah were leaving the hospital… I hate it for them. Hate it. I hate trauma… but I know they hate it so much more!
Amen! I feel the exact same way. Jeb’s been doing the same thing for 2 years and I have 2 little munchkins that miss him terribly. They ask me if daddy lives at the hospital. 🙁
We should be compensated for all the stuff we’ve had to go through. Doctor’s deserve every penny they get paid.
Yup, girlfriend…I feel your pain..My son-in-law is heading back…to…Iraq…after 2 very long tours…this time for 15 long months…and just like your case…little $$$ to be had…My daugher, like you, has to “man” the house.Taking care alone…two small boys.. 4 and 6..The six yr. old with autism to booth. I am so ready for this “War thing” to be over…Hang in, there…you will see a light at the end of this nightmare…I have hope for all of us! You are a good, loving and supportiving wife. I know it seems long, and lonely for today, but…I promise things are going to change and it will be great. I guess all this suffering makes us better…knowing we can flex those FAITH muscles. WE have to know God is in total control, and remember—- man can plan his ways…but it’s God who directs his foot steps. I hang on to this thought for both you and my daugher. Hang in there!!! Love, Gail
I thought a long time before I wrote this comment, particularly since I am one of the secret blog readers that you have never met! Generally I fully agree with, and am able to relate to your blogs. This one made me angry.
My father is a doctor. When he was 27, he and my mother decided to start having children (me.) Along came two other kids within the next 5 years. I didn’t see my father much growing up because he was working so hard in order to provide a good life for our family. NOW he and my mom are able to reap the benefits of his work. Today it seems we expect to be rewarded immediately because we have been in school a long time. Jeremiah is smart, and he also chose this career, I would guess, because he loves it. Obama is not trying to take away payment for doctors, but it is not fair to expect that thosands of dollars will start rolling in when he has not even completed his residency.
Additionally, I took this blog personally, because I am a recent graduate from law school and also have a LOT of student loans. Not only can I not find a job based on choices that previous presidents have made, but I am working for $8 an hour at Pottery Barn Kids. I love the law, just like Jeremiah loves medicine and that is why we practice. This has nothing to do with Obama.
Thank you for so respectfully disagreeing. You could have said those things in a much more harsh way 🙂 I am REALLY sorry you haven’t been able to find a job yet.
The only thing I wanted to rebutt in your comment, is that I did not mean to imply that I think we should be making any money NOW–during residency. I completely understand paying our dues. What I was begrudging was the feeling that even when Jeremiah does finally go out and begin practicing, there won’t be the monetary rewards for all this work like we used to could have counted on. I understand that you are suffering the same issue…just not because of Obama.
Thanks Abby! I am glad we “talked!” 🙂
God. What a bunch of friggin’ whiny, IGNORANT gals you all are. You really think this is Obama’s fault? What a joke. Really. You think your oh-so-perfect husband won’t be making bank once he’s out of residency/fellowship? You’re sorely mistaken. Your household will be making more than 95% of American households once he’s in full practice. Granted, you might not have a new SUV every year…
Your sense of entitlement verges on disgusting.