There is a ten minute period every morning that I dearly covet. It happens right after Pace and I see Jeremiah out the door. Then, we go into the kitchen and I pour her a bottle of milk, and we head back to the bedroom. I prop Pace up against the pillows and hand her her bottle, and finally, I tuck us both tightly under the covers. I lay my face right up next to hers, so that my lips are almost touching her ear, and then I begin to pray. I pray out loud–only in a whisper–but out loud nonetheless. The first prayer that always springs out of my mouth is to thank God for how much I love that little girl. The next, is to marvel that He could love her even more than Jeremiah and I do! Then I pray for the husband He is preparing for her–that he will love God and cherish Pace. I continue to have my normal prayer time, asking that God make me into the mother and wife that He wants me to be, that Jeremiah have a blessed and productive day, and all the other things He lays on my heart.
What I need to admit, is that it takes some discipline for me to hold on to that time. My moments where Pace is completely content, like when she is drinking that bottle, seem so few and far between. I am constantly fighting off guilt that I should be using that quiet time to get things done instead of lying there and enjoying feeling her beside me and feeling the Lord meet us there. But now, after typing this out, I realize that those guilty feelings are nothing but Satan trying to distract me. The enemy is so cunning! He can take a truth, like the fact that God delights in our productivity and not in laziness, and twist it to make us feel like He values our productivity over spending time with Him, or spending quality time with those we love. Standing back it seems so clear, but in the moment it is always a true decision I have to make. Thank you Lord for clarity.
What an incredibly mature and insightful truth. Satan will tempt us with something good (productivity) instead of what is best (quiet time or as David says in the psalms,”a time in the inner sanctuary with God”).
Love From Depths Unknown,
Thanks Dad. It is so fun for me to see a comment!
This is so incredible! You are so incredible! What a gift you have for writing. I’m so proud of you for so many things. You are such a wonderful mother to Pace and an amazing wife for Jeremiah and such a gift(treasured) to me from God, just like Pace is for you. Keep on writing and I’ll keep reading and crying and bursting with pride.
I Love You! Mom
One of my favorite sisters,
Mom told me today about your post and told me how she cried about it..so of course i had to come and check it out! None the less i cried as well. I mean what an incredible writer and mother..i can only pray to be just you. I find Satan doing the same things with my time. Someone once told me that Time spent with the Lord is NEVER time wasted. I hold on to that comment a lot when Satan tries to tell me that i should be doing something producitve. I sit back and try to think of something more important than spending time with our Heavenly father, yet i can think of nothing. I love you and enjoy reading your blogs. I am sending all my hugs and love from Auburn to you and Pace and Jeremiah.
Nobody could ever say I failed in life because of lack of encouragment 🙂 I appreciate both of your sweet words, no matter how undeserved!
Abby- these blogs give me such a new insight into your life. It almost feels a “council meeting”.
But reading this particular one, I definitely had tears in my eyes. I know this feeling well of wanting to make your time with the Lord the most important priority but how easy it seems to be snatched away! But how wonderful knowing the more you spend time with the Lord, it becomes like a second nature. You just can’t function without even the little moments you spend with God.