There is a ten minute period every morning that I dearly covet. It happens right after Pace and I see Jeremiah out the door. Then, we go into the kitchen and I pour her a bottle of milk, and we head back to the bedroom. I prop Pace up against the pillows and hand her her bottle, and finally, I tuck us both tightly under the covers. I lay my face right up next to hers, so that my lips are almost touching her ear, and then I begin to pray. I pray out loud–only in a whisper–but out loud nonetheless. The first prayer that always springs out of my mouth is to thank God for how much I love that little girl. The next, is to marvel that He could love her even more than Jeremiah and I do! Then I pray for the husband He is preparing for her–that he will love God and cherish Pace. I continue to have my normal prayer time, asking that God make me into the mother and wife that He wants me to be, that Jeremiah have a blessed and productive day, and all the other things He lays on my heart.
What I need to admit, is that it takes some discipline for me to hold on to that time. My moments where Pace is completely content, like when she is drinking that bottle, seem so few and far between. I am constantly fighting off guilt that I should be using that quiet time to get things done instead of lying there and enjoying feeling her beside me and feeling the Lord meet us there. But now, after typing this out, I realize that those guilty feelings are nothing but Satan trying to distract me. The enemy is so cunning! He can take a truth, like the fact that God delights in our productivity and not in laziness, and twist it to make us feel like He values our productivity over spending time with Him, or spending quality time with those we love. Standing back it seems so clear, but in the moment it is always a true decision I have to make. Thank you Lord for clarity.