Yesterday, I stood in the rain trying again and again to return my Redbox movie…unsuccessfully. As I wrestled with the rain-soaked mesh screen–unsure whether to compromise my dexterity by holding it up with the arm that was also trying to clutch my wallet or to go ahead and share lice/rain with the rest of the town and let the stupid thing sit on my head, I wondered, “Am I in a Saturday Night Live skit?” The line of cars with their unblinking stares and harsh lights, making me feel frantic to hurry. No time to peruse the handful of movies that this Redbox machine has decided I can choose from. The three new releases are checked out, so I am left with a horror movie where the budget was just big enough to purchase a bottle of Heinz to be used as blood but not big enough to actually pay any of the actors (or at least I hope they didn’t pay them!), or I can choose an Indie flick that is sure to leave both Jeremiah and me longing to slit our wrists after it is over. I just want to rent a good movie!!!!!!
Well, you are all thinking, why don’t you just go home and use Netflix? Stream movies INSTANTLY, you cry! Foohie! All I can find on Netflix are TV shows, and I’m not into Glee. I saw “Emma” fifteen years ago (when it came out), and I chose not to watch “Captain America” when it came out this year, along with the rest of the USofA who thought it looked like crap. Or, lastly, we can pick which movie we would like to watch and wait for it to come in the mail and watch it at our NEXT date night. Awesome. The only thing I find Netflix useful for is watching old episodes of Alfred Hitchcock and getting a free cartoon for my girls when we have a babysitter.
We closed down all of our Movie Galleries and Blockbusters because we were too high tech for them. We wanted movies instantly. We wanted movies in our mailbox so that we didn’t have to drive three minutes down the street to make our selections. And now we got it. No more date nights where we walk together down the aisle of “New Releases,” holding on to the boxes that pique our interest so that we can deliberate over the winner once we reach the end of the aisle. No more sneeking over to the “Drama” section and re-discovering an old favorite that our friend has never seen. No more seeing that wall chocked full of the BIG NEW release and hoping against hope that they aren’t all checked out.
We have gotten too high tech for any of that! Instead, let’s stand in the rain with a line behind us trying to get the cursor to move on the Redbox screen when it’s freaked out from being soaked with water! Let’s only be able to choose from the movies that are so bad that the movie industry hands them over free to Netflix hoping that SOMEBODY will watch their movie. Let’s see if we can’t get our ENTIRE life wrapped up in staring at a computer screen and streaming through space on the internet.
We are sorry Blockbuster! We were wrong! Come baaaaaack!!
If I am this mad about movies, imagine what I’ve got to say about books 🙂
I know I said I’d be back next with pictures of babies and weddings, so as an apology here is a wedding video if you’re interested:
Steve, a big THANK YOU!!! to you. I can’t believe you gave us such a gift! If you’re looking for a wedding video, you should try Steve. I bet he won’t make you stand in the rain to watch one of his movies 😉