Yesterday, I stood in the rain trying again and again to return my Redbox movie…unsuccessfully.  As I wrestled with the rain-soaked mesh screen–unsure whether to compromise my dexterity by holding it up with the arm that was also trying to clutch my wallet or to go ahead and share lice/rain with the rest of the town and let the stupid thing sit on my head, I wondered, “Am I in a Saturday Night Live skit?”  The line of cars with their unblinking stares and harsh lights, making me feel frantic to hurry.  No time to peruse the handful of movies that this Redbox machine has decided I can choose from.  The three new releases are checked out, so I am left with a horror movie where the budget was just big enough to purchase a bottle of Heinz to be used as blood but not big enough to actually pay any of the actors (or at least I hope they didn’t pay them!), or I can choose an Indie flick that is sure to leave both Jeremiah and me longing to slit our wrists after it is over.  I just want to rent a good movie!!!!!!

Well, you are all thinking, why don’t you just go home and use Netflix?  Stream movies INSTANTLY, you cry!  Foohie! All I can find on Netflix are TV shows, and I’m not into Glee.  I saw “Emma” fifteen years ago (when it came out), and I chose not to watch “Captain America” when it came out this year, along with the rest of the USofA who thought it looked like crap.  Or, lastly, we can pick which movie we would like to watch and wait for it to come in the mail and watch it at our NEXT date night.  Awesome.  The only thing I find Netflix useful for is watching old episodes of Alfred Hitchcock and getting a free cartoon for my girls when we have a babysitter.

We closed down all of our Movie Galleries and Blockbusters because we were too high tech for them.  We wanted movies instantly.  We wanted movies in our mailbox so that we didn’t have to drive three minutes down the street to make our selections.  And now we got it.  No more date nights where we walk together down the aisle of “New Releases,” holding on to the boxes that pique our interest so that we can deliberate over the winner once we reach the end of the aisle.  No more sneeking over to the “Drama” section and re-discovering an old favorite that our friend has never seen.  No more seeing that wall chocked full of the BIG NEW release and hoping against hope that they aren’t all checked out.

We have gotten too high tech for any of that!  Instead, let’s stand in the rain with a line behind us trying to get the cursor to move on the Redbox screen when it’s freaked out from being soaked with water!  Let’s only be able to choose from the movies that are so bad that the movie industry hands them over free to Netflix hoping that SOMEBODY will watch their movie.  Let’s see if we can’t get our ENTIRE life wrapped up in staring at a computer screen and streaming through space on the internet.

We are sorry Blockbuster!  We were wrong!  Come baaaaaack!!

If I am this mad about movies, imagine what I’ve got to say about books 🙂

I know I said I’d be back next with pictures of babies and weddings, so as an apology here is a wedding video if you’re interested:

ALL Video – Steve Frank – Wedding Highlights – W + K from ALL Video – Steve Frank on Vimeo.

Steve, a big THANK YOU!!! to you.  I can’t believe you gave us such a gift!  If you’re looking for a wedding video, you should try Steve.  I bet he won’t make you stand in the rain to watch one of his movies 😉

16 Responses to “Somebody Pass Me My Soapbox”

  1. Lindsay Jordan says:

    Download the Redbox App on your phone. You can reserve the movie you want at your own leisure, then all you have to do is pick it up! Nothing more stressful than a line behind you at the redbox! I sure do miss the days of endless options though- walking through all the aisles!

  2. Katie says:

    Girl, I am SOOOOOO with you! I miss it, really really miss it. Walking up and down the aisle, trying to decide which one to watch. Having our “ah ha” moment, when you spot a great old classic you had forgotten about. Call me old fashion; but it’s a shame.

    P.s. waiting for the wedding video to load! Can’t wait to see it 🙂

  3. mary beth says:

    I am right there with you! Never, ever been a fan of Redbox. 🙁 Reading all my reasons, through your words on this post, was so…gratifying. 🙂 And loved, loved, loved, the wedding video. Can I come be apart of your family?!

  4. Jan McGregor says:

    That video was absolutely beautiful! The happiness just radiates off their face and your girls were precious! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Randi says:

    I couldn’t agree more! My husband and I just visited the lone Blockbuster in town this past weekend. I spent the whole time giddy over my old favorites that I once owned on VHS and are now inaccessible in present day of Blu-Ray. I’m hoping he will, like us, come to his senses and insist on re-opening his Blockbuster account. A girl can hope…

  6. Lillian says:

    Oh man! I read this at *just* the right time and now I’m sobbing watching their beautiful wedding video:) What a lovely, lovely, fun wedding! Also: TOTALLY with you on the Redbox. So miss the days of walking up and down the aisle with my arms all loaded with options. I saw a local Video Store along the road in a tiny town a few weeks ago on a day trip and I totally wanted to stop the car just to go in and wander a bit!

  7. Paige says:

    You need an apple tv. It will 100% change your life. You should definitely check it out.

  8. Liz McNeil says:

    What an awesome video and a fun fun wedding (it appeared) Just how they are all suppose to be! Many happy years to your sister and her husband!

  9. Emily says:

    Thank you! You speak my language, girl!

  10. Jenni says:

    I know how you feel however; I use the Video Warehouse across from the southside Wal-mart when I go home to Dothan to visit my parents.They even have the Blockbuster movie smellI know it is a little further to drive but I like taking the time to see all the progress of the circle city.Hope this helps you have a happier experience. God Bless and love your blog!!!

  11. natalie says:

    amen sista! im standing on that soapbox with you, arms raised, seriously missing those date nights wandering the halls of our local blockbuster!

  12. Konie says:

    Abby…..I love blockbuster and movie gallery and books in my hands !! I would say I DON’T even like computers BUT I couldn’t read your blog SO Therefore I LOVE computers for my entertainment and to see sweet pictures and beautiful wedding videos:)))) I decided that I also now have to learn instagram!! Xoxo MAMA B

  13. Katherine Etheredge says:

    Hey Abby – Met Konnie this afternoon at the 4p meeting. She was taking notes! Glad Mary Aplin is in Mrs Dykes class. They are going to have a full year. Feel free to call me with any questions. I will intodruce you to the mothers. (That I know, lots if new students!)

  14. Ann says:

    I feel your pain! We ended up getting an Apple TV box, and now we can rent movies(including new releases) through it. Date night lifesaver!

  15. Emily says:

    It’s hilarious to me that I happened to stop by and read this today! On Saturday, my good friend was over and was on almost the exact same soapbox! I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her so worked up! 🙂

  16. Fittsy says:

    Yet another reason you never should have left Crestwood: we still have a blockbuster brick and mortar. I will say though, I never ever go in b/c of all the crazy horrible horror movie covers. They’re disturbing to me, but Libby is terrorized by them. We used to put the kids to bed and I would run grab something, but that’s fallen by the wayside.

    On another note, I love seeing Kendall’s wedding. Everything was beautiful. You and your girls are as lovey as ever. Thanks for sharing.


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