After you say goodbye to someone who you love as much as your own life, you begin to categorize the memories that come. The memories of their smile, their love, their everyday person, are something like a gentle rolling into a valley of your life. You dip in for a moment, you feel the dull ache, but then you glide back out–looking over your shoulder for a moment to smile wanly at what you miss. However, the memories of what they said at a particular moment, or how excited they were when they gave you a certain gift, or the warmth of their arms around you at a specific moment of sadness–these specific memories that make it seem as though they were by your side only a moment ago–are the ones that feel like a gaping chasm opening up in your life. It rips open before you, re-shaping the foundation of all you’ve assumed was normal, and you plunge in deep. As you hurtle through the air you find yourself grasping desperately around you, wanting to cling, as if for life, to the ones who’ve been left behind.
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