Dear sweet little Mountain Brook family, with your perfectly coiffed yard, I am sorry for the pink tank top I threw in your azalea bushes. I am sorry that it is sopping wet from my sweat, but I threw it there in a state of desperation. You see, I was at mile 15 of my 16.8 mile run, and I had learned that my body was not made for such extremes. I was on the verge of tears from exhaustion. My legs felt like they were made out of an extremely dense brand of putty. I had a stitch in my side, limiting my already difficult breathing, from the Mountain Dew I had just chugged in a last ditch effort to take in some glucose and finish the d*$! thing. And that shirt, well, it felt like it weighed ten pounds, and I couldn’t bear to let my running partners carry the nasty thing–like they were begging me to let them do. A girl, who has had two babies and is watching her left-over baby pooch jiggle in front of her as she jogs through Mountain Brook, has to hold on to some last stitch of pride. So, I refused to let them hold it, and I chucked it into your bushes. I’m sorry. I’ll be riding by later this afternoon, when I have enough strength to move my legs, and if it is still there I’ll relieve you of it. Abby

I am sorry I’ve been MIA for so long. There have been a lot of reasons (one of which I blogged about this past week and Jeremiah screened, sorry), but I have really missed y’all. I am sort of addicted to those little [TheMaddoxFamily] notes I get in my inbox every time y’all leave a comment. Anyway, today was a hard run. It could have something to do with the fact that I had “girls’ night” with Ashley, Berkley, and Taylor last night. That involved a tapas dinner (with LOTS of cheeses) and wine and a movie that kept us up late…Yep, I payed for it with interest this morning when we bumped up our 14.4 miles from last Saturday. I actually laid down on the rocky asphalt parking lot after we finished, spread eagle. It was a little dramatic, but my legs seriously felt like every last joint in them was spewing lactic acid.I know you saw my note, but if any of you know me, you know I must have been in some sort of desperate state to shed my shirt. I DO NOT run in a sports bras only, ever (as you can tell by the lovely white, Hanes number I am wearing in the picture above). And if I have seen you running around in one, I’ve probably thought “Humph, hussy.” I know that’s what the cute little pregnant girl I ran by thought of me. But I have been humbled. I jiggled (and it wasn’t my boobs mind you) my way through Crestline AND Mountain Brook village, just trying to survive. I will also never again scoff at people who act like they need expensive gear to run. You need lightweight material to run long distance in our humidity. Trust me on that one.
I would like to tell you about one major perk that comes from long-distance running. I have not lost a single pound. Are you all gasping in horror? I am glad that isn’t the reason I started this jazz, cause I’d be jumping ship about now, but I’ll be honest, I was hoping it was going to be a natural by-product. So, I haven’t lost any weight, but I feel so much more confident about my body. It’s weird, but it’s like this: If I am running this far and pushing my body this hard, then this must be the way I am supposed to look. Take it or leave it, this is me in shape. It feels really, really good.

I’d like to tell you one major negative about long-distance running too (at least for me). It does a NUMBER on your stomach. I spend all the morning after our long runs…and sometimes longer, worried to leave the close vicinity of my own potty. I have always had an iron-coated stomach; I eat what I want and things keep on tickin‘. But suddenly I understand all of you out there with “nervous stomachs.” And the even stranger part, is that rarely does anything actually…happen (this is turning into a simply lovely post), I just feel like something is going to.

And on that note, I’ll leave you. Here’s a picture of my sweet girls, just so you know they are still alive too. I did finally make it to the camera store this week, and wouldn’t you know they turned me away immediately because the don’t “deal with” Kodak products. You’d think, in this economy, a specialty camera store would deal with any kind of camera they could get their hands on.

10 Responses to “The Scandalous Runner”

  1. Taylor says:

    abby abby- it sounds as though we have a caroline clark 'drama queen' in the makings- lying on the pavement and such-no but really hats off to all of you- losing NO weight for you is a good thing- you look fabulous already-like the best i have ever seen you- so i am glad you feel good bc you look great;)
    ok well i look forward to keeping your children tonight—- tay cleve- alive and NOT running-

  2. livingtotellaboutit says:

    You go, Abby! That's awesome that you're already logging such long runs–it takes me forever to work my way up to 10-12 miles. And I've had the exact same experience with the no weight loss/change of attitude about body thing. When I'm running, I feel strong, and just better about myself in general. Keep on truckin' sista. BTW, which race are you aiming for?

  3. erika says:

    u are a rockstar… and if i saw you running by in a sports bra i'd give you a look of envy! proud of you abby!! keep on runnin'!!!

  4. Darby says:

    Abby… Um I can guarantee from what I can see you look just fine running in a sports bra. And what is jiggling on your stomach is not fat but perhaps skin! And I don't thinkn all the running in the world will get rid of skin. I am very proud of you. I wish I could run 1 mile. I've missed you and I wish the last post would have made it's way to my mailbox. The ones Jeremiah censors are always the best!! Which leads me to say, at least you're running in a bra!

  5. Ashleigh says:

    Enjoying your "running" posts! I have this dream in life to run a marathon (ok i'll settle for a 5k) and right now, I barely walk (herd turtles around mostly:) So.. delighted to live vicariously through your posts for now.

  6. Becky says:

    wow, abby! i couldn't imagine running that far. ever. in a million years. ever. you inspire me. i may go to the track tomorrow…and watch other people run lol!

    and i can't believe jeremiah would let you post the video of him peeing on himself after knocking himself out, but not something else. it must have been pretty good!!

    it also makes me wonder if i should be having micah screen my blogs before i post. but then no one would ever get to read anything lol!!

  7. Blueprint Bliss says:

    I'm with Darby- I hate I missed the screened post because I usually LOVE them. 🙂

    Way to go on your longest run! I was running in Mtn.Brook/Crestline yesterday… wish I had seen you!!

    Keep it up- I'm so impressed.

  8. Laura says:

    Don't know how I found your blog, but love reading it! Have some running advice- try pineapple juice after your long runs…it sounds like it would make the problem worse, but some how, it helps-something about acid neutralizing something… any way keep up the good work, super impressed by your long runs in this AL heat!

  9. Susannah says:

    Seriously 16.8 miles!!! That's astonishing!! Love how you chucked your shirt into the bushes too, that sounds like something I would do! Glad you're back!

  10. Heather says:

    Way to go, Abby! I am so inspired…but not enough to get myself out and running. As a matter of fact, if you EVER see me running anywhere (and one of my children aren't trying to escape me) please dial 911 asap becasue someone is obviously chasing me and my life may be at stake! I admire you, girl! Love your posts!

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